What Would They Think?!

Click on the picture to see a larger version of it. It is interesting and very symbolic of this post!

You’ve probably heard that country song with the line, “Let’s give them something to talk about!”

I’m not exactly telling you to go do something against your moral standard or values system. But I am encouraging you to stop measuring everything you do by how others might interpret it and how the gossip wheel might run.

Certainly you do have to be thoughtful of others in the process. But often we can use it as an excuse not to do something that we really do want to do just for us. And we can feel guilty doing it for our own enjoyment, worried about someone thinking we are too selfish. Catch my drift here?

When I was in my teens living in a tiny village in Southern Ontario, Canada, there weren’t a whole lot of activities to do or places to entertain oneself, especially as a teenager. I had been writing in my journal (diary) most days, but got tired writing the same old thing. Something like: “Got up in the freezing room, got dressed under the covers, scraped the frost off the inside of the window so I could see the weather outside, off to another day at school on a 25-mile bus ride, no special boys paid me any attention, back home for homework, dinner, and to bed after reading Nancy Drew mysteries under the covers till mom yelled at me to turn off the flashlight and get some sleep. Another uneventful day!”

I decided that I was going to have to think up some fun things to do so I’d have something more interesting to write about! So I started looking and venturing outside of my normal routine and comfort zone. I got more involved with people, ventured outside more and did a little more exploring in the area. (I’m a nature girl and love looking for beautiful scenes and interesting critters.) I even organized a few activities, tried out some different hobby activities and artistic projects, started my own little newspaper I sent out to my subscribers (I charged $1/year and mostly mailed them to all my relatives who signed up!). I even got creative in ways to earn extra cash. I sold seed packets, then birthday and greeting cards door-to-door, started babysitting, volunteered for some opportunities to serve at church that I wasn’t already involved in, and so on. My journal started getting filled up with more interesting things each evening when I wrote!

With the broadening of my experiences and outlook, more opportunities came to me that never would have before. I got my first real job in the summer between my junior and senior years in high school, based on the experience I had gained in that past year especially. An unexpected bonus!

What are YOU not doing because you’re a little worried about what people might say or think? Do you want to learn ballroom dancing, but don’t have a partner to learn with and are a little fearful to go it alone? What would people think? Oh, my! Or what about taking a self-defense class? Or a foreign language class and join a group to practice conversations in your new language? Or take an art class to explore your creative side, write a book, start a blog  – or any number of things.

The plain facts are: there will always be people who have something to say about what you choose to do in your life – some good, some not so good. So just get over it and set yourself free to enjoy life and live on your own terms with your own high standards for yourself. Everyone marches to a different drummer. We all have different motivational drives, different gifts, passions, personalities and perspectives. No one of us is perfect and right all the time. When we point a finger at someone to judge them, there are three fingers pointing back at us on our own hand. So give the same grace to others. Develop a thick skin if you have to, so other’s unfounded comments don’t bother you. I like to let them slide off me like water off a duck’s back.

When you consider the source of the comments and their own perspective on their life, you could decide, “I am not choosing to get in their sinking hole-y boat and have my quality of life go down with them!” Besides, no one sees things totally from your perspective. How could they? Nor do you totally understand other’s motivations. So just as you don’t like to be judged by others, give them the same courtesy.

You will be amazed at how accepting others are when you stand for yourself and what you want in life and let them know this is something you want to do and then just do it without asking their opinion or permission! Whatever you believe for yourself, others will too. Try it! You’ll like it!

And you’ll have something fun and interesting to write in your nightly journal as well, if you choose!